Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
