grandma shit on top of the toilet
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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