I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
