I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
