Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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