so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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