Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
