I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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