My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
