Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
