Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
