I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
