we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
