hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
