Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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