no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
