i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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