i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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