What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize