i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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