My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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