Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He did a backflip because drugs
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
