Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize