if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
