am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Randomize
