Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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