he shaved USA in his pubs
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
and you fell through a lawn chair
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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