I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
