I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
