Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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