Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
