in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
you inspire me to be a worse person
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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