So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
