i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
