I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Randomize
