at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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