Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
