i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize