I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
you had me at cake vodka
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
