I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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