The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
