You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
