we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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