So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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