Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
