Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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