I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i was born a porn star she said
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
