Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
