I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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