I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
