He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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