I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
