i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
When did angry sex become our thing?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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