I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
