Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
