Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
