Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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