Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I understand Curling. That high.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
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