I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize