So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
