he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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