I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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