Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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