My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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