She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
