Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize