Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
