thus making me awesome and them whores
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
