Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize