I think I am morally bankrupt
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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