About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
