he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
