you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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