Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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